On Friday the 10th of June 2022, the Pellow family lost a Mother and a Granny. What you read here can never do justice to her as a person and our feelings for her, and what she achieved in her time with us.
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 Mum meant a lot of things to a lot of people. Apart from being a mother to me and my sister Nicki, a mother-in-law to my wife Ruth and Nicki's husband Michael, and a Granny to our daughter Emily, she was so much more than that. A teacher for most of her working career, she touched the lives of everyone she taught. Maybe some of those more than others, but I'm pretty sure she had an impact on all of them.

 Divorced from our dad, which I am sure was heart-breaking for her at the time, I don't think I ever saw her being particularly sad. Cross, yes. Angry, occasionally, (and if she was, I was probably the cause of it)! For the rest of it, she was a strong, vibrant, single mum who enjoyed life to its fullest. I'm sure it wasn't all raindrops on roses and maybe she had bigger dreams or ambitions that she wanted to achieve, but then again, maybe she did that by raising Nicki and myself. One of us got the smarts for the academic stuff and the other, the practical side of things, with a bit of each other's talents thrown in for good measure.

 I spent 3 hours this morning cleaning the cooker hood and filters to within an inch of their lives. It's wonderful what you can learn on YouTube. Some boiling water, salt, vinegar, and bicarb of soda. Mum was reasonably practical I suppose, smashing up concrete in the back garden whilst wearing my skateboard helmet for protection and building a doll's house pretty much from scratch. She built the furniture and even put in lighting as well as decorating each room. She painted in oils, did pottery, sewing, and went to evening woodwork classes with my high school woodwork teacher.
Our father on the other hand was not practical. He hung a picture which became a shelf after having made the string too long! In many ways, he was a great dad, but DIY was not his forte.

 Mum had to put up with a lot. A divorce, a daughter's teenage years and a son's teenage angst, his twenties traumas, and his thirties and......well you get the picture. She was always there for both of us when we needed her. She was everything a mum should be, caring, supportive, encouraging, and most of all, loving. And all these things didn't just come to us. They pretty much encompassed everyone she met. From her days in the WI to her retirement and volunteer work at the local care home, and everything in between.

 As children growing up, I don't think that we ever appreciate our parents as much as we should. I guess up to our teens is when they are most important to us, and then the reality of life takes a hold of us too. High school, exams, girlfriends and boyfriends, college or university, work, etc, etc. Suddenly, we are facing the same pressures that our parents are, and whilst we still love them, there is a subtle change in the parent, child dynamic. It's not much, and at the end of the day nothing really changes and it really doesn't matter, but it is there.

 And even in her later years when she came to visit Ruth, Emily, and myself in Greece, she was still game to be adventurous. We decided that it was such a great day and the sea was so calm that we would go out on the boat. I knew that we would be landing on the beach and that getting back on the boat would be difficult, so I took a stepladder! So the time comes to get back, and sure enough, the ladder needs to be deployed, much to the amusement of some local Greeks on the beach. When I told them that she was 85, they gave her a round of applause!

 Mum was a single-parent, working, house mum for most of her life, and if any one of us can look back at our own lives when and if we hit 91 and can say we achieved what she did, then we should be proud of ourselves. We're certainly proud of her.
 
We love you Mum and we're going to miss you. God Bless.

"I first wrote the "Incredibles" blog a few years ago, and from time to time I like to read it again to remind myself about the levels of courage and determination that our patients have on a day-to-day basis. What I wrote then is as true today and will be tomorrow as it was when I wrote it at the time. No question. No doubt. Definitely.

Since then, of course, the world has changed. Something that the majority of us have no control over. Where we have had to put our lives on hold and in the hands of politicians and scientists to do their best to keep us healthy and safe. And for the most part, I believe that they have done their best, but there will always be mistakes made and decisions taken too late and Covid 19 will be something that we will have to live with like many annual viruses for years to come.

As a family, we have been fortunate not to lose any friends or family members to the pandemic, but we know that there will be a lot of you out there that have. Should that be the case, then we are deeply sorry for your loss.

But life goes on, as it should and as it must and we all need to find some joy from somewhere.  

Whilst sometimes I struggle with my own vulnerabilities and insecurities, I know that I have my own grit and determination as well as my loving wife and daughter (our tech support) and five dogs to put up with me! I am still that 50+ year old bloke that is in awe of his wife's talents and her knowledge and compassion for her patient's greatest wishes, yet still longing for my own desire of being able to return to the arena of speaking directly to you, face to face at an exhibition to hear about your own dreams. 

More so, I am still blown away by your determination, your fortitude, and your resilience in forging ahead to achieve your dreams of either starting or continuing your family. Even more, because so many of us have not had that personal interaction that we as a nation take for granted. For the most part, we are a very social society, and we openly accept social contact as a given. In certain respects, it's what defines us as a nation and as individuals. 

I watched the Olympics and I was blown away not just by Team GB, but by every nation that gave their all. I loved the sub-stories regardless of the nationalities, the shared medals, the first medals ever one by a particular nation, and the pain and heartache that brought them to Tokyo after five long years of preparation and waiting. I would just like to highlight a couple of the many standout moments of the games as well as praising and thanking the host nation for putting on an Olympics that lived up to and exceeded expectations under the worst of circumstances.

The first is the final of the men's high jump where we are down to two competitors, Mutaz Essa Barshim from Qatar and Gianmarco Tamberi from Italy. Best friends ever since Gianmarco was close to quitting due to injury and Mutaz sat down with him for hours and convinced him to keep going. So here we are in the present day in the final. Gianmarco's plaster cast from his previous injury is displayed on the track for each of his jumps. Both of them had all first-time clearances, so doing a countback to failed attempts was not an option. They could have carried on and done a jump-off, but they also had the option of sharing the gold medal, which they did and in my opinion rightly so as both men deserved it after two hours of competition and Gianmarco's reaction to his friend's suggestion was worth it in itself. A fabulous moment and says everything about what the Olympics is supposed to represent.

The second moment is entirely opposite to the first, in that it shows how harsh sport can be sometimes. Annika Schleu from Germany was leading the modern pentathlon going into the showjumping section. For those of you not totally familiar with the modern pentathlon (I wasn't) the events are fencing, swimming, show jumping, and then a combined shooting and cross country run. In the showjumping, there is no such thing as bringing your own horse. Oh deary me no. You are allotted a horse and are then given 20 minutes to get to know it. Now all these horses are trained jumpers, but of course, it is still a lottery and poor old Annika got one that was not a happy bunny. To be fair, the same horse was allocated to another competitor who also struggled with it, but by the time it was Annika's turn, the horse had really had enough by then and it was not going to cooperate. It was heart-wrenching to watch and one can only imagine what was going through Annika's mind as she saw that gold medal disappearing. But like all good athletes, she will put that behind her and she will be back to try again, such is the determination of the human soul.

I know that I have digressed somewhat, but there is a point that I was trying to make, in that sometimes things go right and sometimes they don't. There will be highs and there will be lows. And when there are lows, we have to dig deep and try again. Giancarlo dug deep because of his friend's help to come back from injury and Annika will dig deep and come back a better, stronger competitor because of that experience. Your gold medal is to start a family, and we will do everything we can to put you on the top step of that podium.

I believe that if you can accept your own or other's achievements, regardless of gender, skin colour, religion, or whatever, then we just might prevail. I am not a dreamer, even though I like to dream. But I have hope. And so should you. Why? Because you are incredible."


- Simon, Co-founder IVF Treatment Abroad

Written in 2017 by Simon Pellow, Co Director of IVF Treatment Abroad

Whilst I am writing this, I still have not been able to come up with a title for this piece. Hopefully something will come up as I go along. The anticipation is killing me, so it had better be good! If you see a title, it did come after the composition.
“What is this piece about?” you may be asking yourselves. Just the most enlightening, heart rending, satisfying, soul searching, sad and joy filled experiences I have had the opportunity to partake in two days of the year outside of my normal life.
I speak about the Fertility Show in London where I get to meet the most incredible people who are either taking their first steps towards creating a family or indeed those that are coming towards the end of their journey. Time and time again, I am astounded by the resilience of these people. Stick them on a battlefield and they would be victorious; and indeed, for the majority, it is just that - a battlefield. Yet many, many prevail; they win their battle. I know that in the majority of cases, it is with our support.
Whilst my wife Ruth has decades of knowledge and experience that many in her field as a fertility nurse specialist would die for, she has not lost the desire or passion to connect with patients on a personal level, many of whom are now close friends or volunteers who are willing to give up their time to share their personal experiences with complete strangers who visit the stand. I am in awe of anyone who is able to divulge their fears and hopes, successes and failures to someone they have just met. Thank you peeps! You know who you are and how much more successful you make the exhibition for us as well as inspiring the people that you speak to.
From the point of view of a 50+ year old bloke (me), it is not always easy to get the information that will help Ruth either in a personal consultation or with a follow up call. The girls are obviously always more comfortable speaking to girls. So, you can imagine how privileged and saddened I was when two years ago a twenty something year old who was at the show with her mother told me that because of some weird genetic aberration she had been born without a womb. This is obviously something that she had lived with all her life and something of an extremely personal nature, yet for her to be able to impart this to me was astounding and I felt honoured that she felt comfortable enough to be able to divulge such an intimate part of her life to me. Thank you to that young lady. I hope that you are happy and well and I truly hope that your dreams, whatever they might be, come true.
That is just one true encounter among many, many others that have affected those of us who participate in promoting our services at the show. This year, I spoke to a couple who had just tested negative from a UK cycle a week or so before coming to Olympia. A raw emotional scar for them, yet they were still strong enough to want to see what options and advice they could garner to help them in the future. Obsessive; No. They are brave and committed to having a child that they can love and nurture.
If my reading audience will allow me to generalize for a moment: none of our lives are as straightforward or as simple as we would like them to be. To a certain extent, we are all a little mixed up and from time to time lose our direction in life. Sometimes we crave to re-live parts of our childhood or adolescence, whether this be holidays or from hearing snippets of a song that either makes us cringe or makes us feel happy or sad and just sometimes screams “where did life go”. Life is there, ready to be embraced and accepted for all its hardships, joy and flaws. Like most people, I have had to deal with life; not always as well as I would have liked, but we strive to be better and we fight for our dreams to become reality. None more so than the kind of people that attend the fertility show in search of the answers to their wishes.

- Simon Pellow Co Director, IVF Treatment Abroad

 Oh MY Gosh! Over 30 years of helping couples and single parents to achieve their dream of starting a family. Personally, this is my entire working focus, but I have to include my husband and daughter Emily, not only for supporting me but also for their input in the day-to-day running of the business with their ideas, insights, and technical abilities. 

We are a cottage industry so Emily helps on techy stuff (and managing this blog) and my husband Simon, who not only helped create IVF Treatment Abroad, but is also my own personal chef, has just perfected his TGI's Jack Daniels sauce. None of that bottled rubbish!

Sorry. I digress. The business of going abroad for any form of fertility treatment has grown exponentially over the last twenty years or so and of course, in the beginning, it was all new and attentive and the level of service was very personal. This is as true now as it ever was for any life-saving or life-giving treatment.  

 In many instances, this will still be the case, but we know for a fact that in many more situations, this is not so. How do we know? Because the patient has told us. "I was a number". "I was on a conveyer belt". "I never saw the same person twice". "It took two days to get a reply to my email". Two days! That can be the difference between becoming pregnant or keeping a pregnancy. Not only that, I will also have many patients come to me with questions, saying "I'm sorry to bother you, but...", and I always say the same thing - no matter how small the query is, I am happy to answer anything that will help put your mind at ease. There is no question in this line of work where there are so many emotions involved that can be considered unimportant.

 Being a fertility nurse specialist I am in the position of being able to make clinical decisions, help plan your next steps, and continued care which can and will be time-sensitive. The services that we at IVF Treatment Abroad provide are individually tailored to each patient's needs and we do not agree with the "one size fits all" concept. Add in the fact that we are available 7 days a week, 365 days a year (yes I have taken calls on Christmas day)! 

So, here we are. Ready, waiting, and willing to help you, whether it be the start of your journey towards parenthood, or indeed a continued one. Thirty years and counting!