Goodbye Merlin

Just A Dog
From time to time, people tell me, “Lighten up, it’s just a dog,” or “That’s a lot of money for just a dog.”
They don’t understand the distance travelled, the time spent, or the costs involved for “just a dog.”
Some of my proudest moments have come about with “just a dog.”
Many hours have passed, and my only company was “just a dog,” but I did not once feel slighted.
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by “just a dog,” and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of “just a dog” gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it’s “just a dog,” then you probably understand phrases like “just a friend,” “just a sunrise,” or “just a promise.”
“Just a dog” brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
“Just a dog” brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person.
Because of “just a dog” I will rise early, take long walks, and look longingly to the future.
So, for me and folks like me, it’s not “just a dog” but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.
“Just a dog” brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.
I hope that someday they can understand that it’s not “just a dog” but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being “just a man” or “just a woman.”
So, the next time you hear the phrase “just a dog,” just smile, because they “just don’t understand.”
- Author: Richard A. Biby

​Those who know me know that I am a huge dog lover, but I wasn’t always. As a child I was attacked by a dog, foaming at the mouth and never again wore the coat that it snatched from me as I ran away. When living in Spain we got our first dog Ini (part Springer Spaniel and part Beagle) who was a rescue dog as my husband wanted our daughter, Emily, to experience that special relationship with a dog he had growing up. Ini was her brother as far as she was concerned, and they grew up together. I swear they had some of the same mannerisms at times! I was fearful when we got Ini, but he was the best dog and helped me be the dog mum I am today.
I will never be allowed to forget that it was me who fell in love with Merlin (Field-bred Cocker). In Spain, garden centres also sold pets and every time we went to the garden centre, I was very vocal telling the other two “we don’t need another dog, we have a dog, don’t fall in love with a dog” and of course, it was me who did.
I asked to pick him up, he tucked his head under my chin and put his wet nose on my neck and I was gone. Love at first sight. Welcome to the family, Merlin! Ini had a little brother who he loved; Emily had another brother too. Perfect.
We added to our doggy family over time and at the top count had seven dogs! I was certainly not scared of our dogs and was officially a doggy mum!
The problem with pets is that they cannot live forever, they will leave before we want or are ready for them to leave. Ini lived to the grand age of just over 14 years, we lost Jasper (our Golden Cocker) when he was just under ten and most recently, we lost Merlin at the age of 15 and a half years.
Dog of my heart… yep. I heard this phrase a few months back and wasn’t sure it sounded right, but it is. I can’t type this without crying as he was such a part of our lives for so long. The house is too quiet without him, he wasn’t very vocal in the house but anyone who has a dog will tell you it makes a difference when they are not there. My shadow is not there anymore. He would cry if I left him in a room and closed the door, he would pad round the house to find me if I was not with him in the sitting room. He was old, his body had had enough, and he had no interest in food, so we were syringe-feeding him. It was time but those 24 hours before the vet came over were the hardest ones for me. Making that decision to help him over the rainbow bridge was so hard but it was the last act of love that I could do for this dog of my heart. He lay on my body as the medication was given and I felt his heart under my hand as it slowed and stopped.
I miss him horribly, but I am also immensely grateful for all the years I had him with me.
Goodbye, Merlin.

Cover art by Kayne Valian (@kay.kune on Instagram), photos taken by Pellows at varying times.